Sunday, July 28, 2013

An Experiment, Cold Coffee, & 29 Days

Today I decided to do a little experiment.  I took out a piece of paper and made three columns.  At the top of those three columns were my three kids' names.  In each column I made hash marks which signified every action I made in response to a demand made by a child.

After one hour I deemed this experiment:

(A.) One that was way too hard to keep up with.
(B.) One that left me feeling like a bad person for ever having the thought to conduct it.
(C.) One that had expeditiously proven my hypothesis.

My hypothesis:  Moms don't stop.

We don't.  We move all day.   

No wonder I have:

(A.) Plantar fasciitis
(B.) Heel spurs that could cut someone.
(C.) Tendonitis in both ankles from standing and pacing ALL day.
(D.) Bad feet with x-rays to prove it. (Period.)

Let me be clear...I am only testing the scientific method here.  Which is as follows:

(1.) Make an observation (I never stop moving, and my kids keep me going like the Energizer Bunny - okay, that's two observations, but you get my point.  It's a wonder that I don't lose more weight).
(2.) Develop a Hypothesis (See above.  If you're too tired to scroll up, then I'll help you:  "Moms don't stop.")
(3.) Make an experiment (Grab a piece of paper, and chart your actions, moms.  It's simple.)
(4.) Carry out the experiment, and chart conclusions (It won't take long at all to do this.  Adding this little experiment to your day is like meeting one more demand on your mound of growing demands - think of it like a leaf atop of a pile that you just raked).
(5.) Draw conclusions (Now, imagine that leaf pile jumped in, kicked about, your hands tired from raking, and yet you must rake some more to keep the pile tidy.).

The conclusion here is:  In fact, moms do not stop.  We don't.  We go, and go, and go, and even in our sleep we dream of what needs to be done, what should have been done, what could be done, and what will be done, by gosh!  Then, we moms retreat to our coffee.  Cold coffee.  Mmm...thank you, science, for the microwave.  How many mornings have I finally sat down to take a sip of my first cup only to have the joy of it reduced to yet another demand?  That's a whole different experiment that I'm not willing to find out the results to.

There are exactly twenty-nine days left until my 2/3 head off to Kindergarten and 2nd grade.  Am I ready?  No (well, yes, but with some hesitation).  Are they ready?  Yes, most definitely.  While I am not ready to walk away from my BIG girl headed off to BIG kid school for the first time, I am ready to trust that she is ready for the challenges, new experiences, knowledge before her, and the thirteen plus years of grade school that await her before she heads off to college, then grad school, etc. (only the best for this little lady).  While I am not ready to admit that my eldest child is seven+ years old and no longer the first born baby that I once coddled profusely, I am ready to let him take on harder curriculum, continue to make his social mark as his personality grows & continues to shine through, and add to my pile of leaves by bringing home more homework, more extracurriculars, and more attitude (BAH!)...

The bottom line is that the science behind motherhood is a genuine feat of engineering - moms are machines.  We move.  We don't stop.  We move in both fluid and constrained motions.  We do not require fuel, hydraulic fluid, or coolant (well, maybe some occasional "coolant").  Our kinetic energy is made, collected, moved, and stored by one thing only - love - a strong love of those leaf pile trampling wild ones with nonstop demands, seemingly endless energy, sweaty heads, loud mouths, goofy grins, sticky hands, flood pants, and weed-like limbs.  We love them, and because of them  we move.  We move a lot, and we drink our cold coffee and love it, too.  In twenty-nine days we'll truly miss our kids for eight hours a day, and that hypothesis can also easily be proven.

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